A Solemn Anniversary (A McRoll in the REAL World Story)
by ilna
Summary: Steve and Catherine bring Angie to the cemetery to mark a solemn anniversary.


_Our hearts go out to those affected by the tragic earthquake in Mexico this week and those dealing with the devastation of Hurricane Maria in the Caribbean._

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 _A Solemn Anniversary (A McRoll in the REAL World Story)_

 **September 20, 2017**

Catherine held Angie facing out against her chest as Steve knelt to brush the grass clippings off his father's gravestone. It was one of the first things he did every time they visited the grave together, and she was certain he also did it the times he came on his own.

She knew part of the reason was his innate need to fix what was in front of him, even if that just meant sweeping away some dead grass, but mostly it was a way for him to gather his thoughts.

She understood that. She needed the time herself to reconcile her own complex feelings about the man she'd met only once but who had certainly impacted her life. Impacted it not only in that one meeting, but even more profoundly in the way his choices had shaped and affected the man she loved.

They came here, together and separately, several times throughout the year, but the September 20th visit always had a slightly different feel to it. The sadness at a life cut short was heightened on this particular day, as well as the thoughts of what might have been if John had lived.

This was the day she gave her thoughts free rein to consider what might be different. Would she and Steve even be living here on the island? Or would they both still be active duty, serving wherever their country needed them most? Would they be married? She tightened her arms gently around her daughter as her thoughts went one step further. Would Angie be here?

She looked at Steve, squatting in front of the stone bearing his father's name. The momentary clench in her heart eased as it always did when "what if" thoughts filtered through her head. She felt so sure of them that she knew their path would have led them here some way. This was where they were meant to be. She, Steve, and Angie.

Her eyes drifted to the dates on John's gravestone and the familiar sadness at his loss reasserted itself. She wished Steve and Mary had had more time with their father. Time for them to truly reconcile. And she wished John could have known his granddaughters.

She glanced down at Angie her arms. The first time they'd brought her here shortly after she was born she had been dozing during the visit. Now she was fully alert, but seemed to recognize the solemnity of the moment. Normally her limbs would be in constant motion in this position and she would be cooing and gurgling happily, but right now she was still. Catherine bent and kissed her daughter's head in thanks for that seemingly preternatural understanding.

Steve turned his head to look up at them and her heart swelled at the smile that spread across his face. It was a new smile, first seen eleven weeks ago at the hospital when he'd placed their newborn daughter on her chest and looked at the two of them together for the first time. It had fast become her favorite.

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His smile slowly faded as he looked back at the grave. Once he stood, Catherine wordlessly passed Angie to him. They could have left her with her grandparents or Esther or one of the many other willing family members and friends, but it was important to him that Angie come with them today. That they mark this anniversary as a family.

He pressed a soft kiss to his daughter's head, smiling at his wife when he felt her run a supportive hand across his back.

"I've been thinking a lot … over the last year," he started quietly. "Especially the last couple months since Angie was born."

Catherine nodded silently, waiting for him to continue.

He paused, looking down at his father's grave and feeling the precious weight of his daughter in his arms.

"I've been thinking about my dad and the decision he made …" He swallowed thickly. He didn't think it would ever be easy to talk about his father sending him and Mary away and never explaining why. It wasn't impossible as it had once been – before Catherine – but it would never be easy.

He looked over at Catherine now who was patiently waiting for him to put his thoughts into words. He flashed her a soft, grateful smile and continued.

"I didn't know if I'd … if I'd see it any differently once Angie was born."

She nodded, obviously following his train of thought.

"I … I understand it a little more," he admitted, "but I still wouldn't make the same decision he did. I get that he thought that was what he had to do to protect me and Mary … I've forgiven him for it. But understanding and forgiveness doesn't mean I agree with him or that I'd do the same thing."

She closed what little distance there was between them, leaning into his side and nodding against his shoulder.

"I want to protect Angie," he said emphatically, "but I won't protect her by keeping things from her."

Wanting to protect Angie was the strongest feeling he'd ever had next to loving her and Catherine with his whole heart. But his own experience had cemented what that meant and didn't mean to him. He would keep her safe. He would lay down his life for her. He would do whatever he had to to make sure she felt happy and loved. And she would know that he was there for her.

He looked down at Angie. "I want her to know she'll get the truth from me. Whatever she asks. No matter how tough it is to talk about."

Catherine blinked up at him, tears in her eyes, and placed one hand on Angie's back to match the one she had on Steve's.

"From both of us," she said quietly.

He leaned over and kissed her briefly but with feeling. She was with him. She understood. Just like always.

"We've got you, Angie," he said to the baby looking up at him with her beautiful, wide eyes. "Whatever comes our way, the three of us will meet it head on. Together."

Catherine smiled softly and nodded once in earnest. "Always."

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 **Hope you enjoyed**

 **Notes:** I know they want me to stop thanking them, but I'm going to do it one more time. Heartfelt thanks to Mari and Sammy for covering for me and supporting me the last two weeks. I appreciate it more than I can adequately put into words.

Readers and REAL McRollers – Your continued support of the REAL World is amazing. Thank you for that and for being such wonderful readers.


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